A forgetful bastard indeed, but Donnie remembered theze az hiz favourite flicks on the silver screen.
Through my career of dating girlz, I've picked some pretty squirly onez. Fresh out of high school I involved myself with a hippychick. It wuz a disasterous affair, but my one positive memory of the experience wuz when Dazed and Confused came out. Three of us went and saw it the day after Shannon Hoon of Blind Melon pissed on the audience in Vancouver.
We were still pretty messed up (emotionally & chemically) from the concert, but continued our debachery with a good steady smoking of a handful of doobz. Afterall, we heard that this wuz a premiere movie for baked eyez.
Immediately after finding a seat, my bent and twisted mind became one with the curtainz. This wuz becoming one of the greatest showz I had seen, and the god damn thing hadn't even started yet! I think this movie for my generation iz like American Grafitti wuz for the previous. Obviously the makerz of That 70's Show had seen this movie. Whether they were az f*ckt up az me when they did, who knowz?
Cool carz, toonz, girlz and beer... what else do ya need?
Before he came to direct moviez in North America, John Woo wuz the maker of master piecez in the eastern world. "One mean cop. One viscous hitman. Ten thouzand bullets." That's what it sez on the box, and to say that they never run out of bullets isn't a lie. If you like gun fights, this iz your film. Anybody who gets shot, gets it in the head, or the face. No f**kin' around here.
I wuz in Vancouver at The No. 5 Orange with a lady friend of mine and she introduced me to one of her friendz. She mentioned that he wuz a big Hollywood star in China. I shook hiz hand az she said, "This iz my friend Danny Lee." I took a step back, looked him in the eye and said, "The Killer!? You're the cop! No Sh*t!! You f**kin' rule man!" (By now I wuz yelling really loud) I scared the sh*t out of him, but he signed a coaster for me before leaving. Afterwardz, the rest of the staff came up to me asking, "He comez in here every now and then, who iz he? " I wuz like, "Sh*t man, he'z the cop with a million f**king bullets. You gotta see it. Everyone gets shot in the head!"

A friend of mine used to run a video store in my old neighbourhood, and whenever I wanted to see any kind of bizarre movie, he wuz the guy to ask. (The same guy who blew my brainz with Eraserhead!) He lent this one to Tommy and I after we vizited a mutual friend of ours, Bud Greene.
This movie messed with our headz somethin' fierce. I hadn't a clue what the hell had happened when it wuz all said and done, but once I'd seen it a couple more timez, it all made sense.
A psychological mind f**Ker without a doubt. If you know Bud Greene, check this one out with him.

"Superfly... you got it all man. Drugz... girlz... an eight track stereo!" A dinamite quote from a dinamite film. Shaft ain't got an ounce of cool on this dood.
Superfly iz a coke dealer that's sick of the life, and he wants out. He'z got it all figured out how: just gotta make one last big sell. A sh*tload of coke, for a sh*tload of cash. Then he'z done.
For this movie, Curtis Mayfield made one the coolest soundtracks of all time. Whenever I hear it, it makes me wanna wear a spoon around my neck and go dancin'.

Another John Woo bulletfest. After The Killer came into my world I went looking for other Woo filmz. I came home with this one thinking; "If this iz half az good az The Killer I'll be happy." Shit man, this one kicks ass! There'z a scene where he'z gotta get down this flight of stairz, but dead bodiez block hiz path. With gunz in both of hiz handz, he slidez down the railing all the while unloading infinte amounts of lead into a guy trying to shoot him from the bottom of the stairz. He landz on hiz feet, still firing bullets from both gunz az he runz up to the dood and cuts him down to the ground. A f**king bloodbath. It's beyond beautiful.
Me and an old roomate used to take turnz renting f**kt up filmz. It wuz my turn to get one, so I rented this solely becuz of the cover; babez with short skirts and shadez.
The story iz about a group of sexually revved up women who kill off the male population by lurring them into the sack and cauzing them to go into cardiac arrest via penetration. A hell of a way to go if you must.
For 1973, this film iz very hot. Naked chicks with Charlie's Angels hair stylez and big bug-eye sized sun glassez on. Definitely my kind of women.
Clint Eastwood'z finest of all hiz Westernz. A three hour epic about three men on a quest for millionz in gold. The thing iz, each knowz a secret that the other doezn't, but all of 'em add up to where exactly the gold iz hidden. This movie iz so classic, Metallica used the theme song az their intro muzic on the ...And Justice For All tour.
I got to see this on the big screen at our University movie theatre when (I'm sure) people overwhelmed them with requests to show it. All wuz great except for the sound. It wuz far to quiet, and it didn't synch up with the video. If I hadn't have seen the film a hundred timez I woulda been real pisst, cuz sitting in thoze seats wuz bad enough for three hourz. Afterwardz you could have called the evening: The Good, The Bad and The Hemmoroidz". "Sorry, were you sleeping? Oh, that wuz your ass. My appologiez"
If I could explain the last handful of yearz of my life in a two minute movie clip, it'd be the scene where Johnny Depp iz sitting at the bar trippin' out. The floor turnz to liquid, and everyone turnz into dinosaurz. Yep, that 'bout sumz it up.
About forty-five minutes before Tommy and I went to see this movie, we ate a couple cookiez that a friend of ourz had made us. Special cookiez. I'd call them hash brownz, but that'd be potatoez. Anywayz, by the end of the movie I wuz virtually laying in the aisle with people stepping over me to leave the theatre.
My favourite part in this flick iz when hiz lawyer asks him to throw a radio into the bathtub so he can kill himself. Instead, he grabs a cantalope, and on the count of three, when the lawyer thinks he's going to be electrocuted to death, he gets hit in the forehead with the cantalope. Freakin' hilarious.
I think I first saw this when I wuz a kid on a Saturday aftrenoon. I remember the scene where they're all high on acid trippin' out at Mardi Gras, and it making me go, "hmmmm....?"
A brilliant movie where two guyz set out to see America, but find it nowhere. By the end of this film you will either hate rednecks, or want to go out and hit the first one you see. (F**kin' inbredz)
Whenever it comez on tv, I stop whatever I'm doing and watch it for the upteenth time. A pure classic.
My obvious favourite. The greatest band that never wuz, and I 've seen them in concert! Out of the five guitar picks that they threw out into the audience that night, I am the proud owner of two of them; David St. Hubbins' and Nigel Tuffnel'z.
Two Saturday Night Live actorz, Lenny from Lavern & Shirley, and Meathead from All in the Family came up with this genius idea for a movie.
Meathead iz Marti DeBurgi, the director making a rockumentary on England'z legnedary band Spinal Tap. It followz the band on tour, in the studio, through break up and dwindling popularity to a reunion and resurgence in fame. Comical lyrics, misunderstood stage sets, witty banter, priceless interviewz az well az complete slagz from the press make for 90 minutes of perfection. They've even thrown in a Yoko Ono to f**k the band right up. Complete brilliance.


Copyright © 2003 Zappnin Black. All Rights Reserved.