It wuz at an open air stadium. The sun baked the shit out of us all day (sunburnz and all). A girlfriend and I went to wait in the line up 'round 4:30 in the afternoon. The show wouldn't start until 9pm, and the gates opened at 7pm. The other three: Mitchy, Tom and Johnny, were in the beer garden from 11:30am until 6:30pm. When they arrived at the venue, they were lubricated real well! We made it to the front row, just right of center stage. The perfect location for the celebration of the host with the most; Diamond Dave.

Hiz band came onstage with the traditional BIG noizey starting, and the crowd went nuts. Where we were located, you could see Diamond Dave come strolling up to the back of the stage. He wuz like a tiger prowling the jungle, ready to pounce on it's prey. That's power man!

They opened with Hot For Teacher, with hiz quintesential "Look at all the people here tonighhhhhhht!" in the first verse. Tenz of thousandz went crazy! The second song wuz Panama, and this iz where it got really f**kin' cool!

In the middle of the song where it slowz down and Dave'z sayin', "I can barely see the road up ahead..... I'm gonna reach down between my legz, and eaze the seat back......." He then looked at the girl I'm with and said, "Look atchoo baby, the kinda girl I wanna give my name to...."

He continued, "You wanna reach down between Big Daddy'z legz and eaze my seat back?" He then looked up to the crowd az if asking for permission, "Am I allowed to make a Booty call from here?" Then he carried on, "I can see it now man, No your Honour, I do have witnesses!" (He starts to sing, all the while looking at her, "You sexy Mother F**ker!") The crowd got real loud, then he looked up and said, "Seattle, you are out of control early tonighhhhhhhhht!"

Then place erupted az they blasted back into Panama. It wuz priceless, her face went az red az her hair! (Gotta love the red headz!) I warned her before the show that Dave wuz known to ejaculate 40 pounderz of Jack Danielz onto the girlz in the front row. A different chick wound up getting the Jack, but it wuz ALL good nonetheless. Damn it, Dave and I have the same taste in women!!

The show wuz nonstop, back to back, over the top, in your face n' down your throat Dave Halen. Just what the doctor ordered... and I'm sure that everyone wuz feeling good all over, and over, and over again.

There wuz another point in the show where he brought hiz attention back to the my female friend. In the middle part of You Really Got Me where it drops down to just the vocalz and drumz: 'Girl... You really got me now, you've got me so I don't know what I'm doin'. Girl... You really got me now. (he looks at her and sez), "Lose the dress, Keep the Shoes." Then boom, right back into the tune. Twuz another great moment in my Van Halen history, and the perfect way to end Summer vacation that year!

My only complaint with the whole show wuz that it ended. Hey, I'm generally a happy person, just never content!

When I got home, I wuz muckin' around online and thought that I'd check out the DLR Army website, (a fan-based website for Diamond Dave). I noticed that someone had mentioned that Robin and Maynard from KZOK were knockin' Dave in a bad way, so I sent them a piece of my mind:

"I didn't actually hear you guyz blasting Dave on air, but I got word that you were. Now being a Roth fan for over twenty yearz, I alwayz anticipate an appearance from the Mighty Toast Master General. In tradition, he delivered the goodz in spadez. Actually, he kicked more ass this time than ever. What I don't understand iz, with you guyz not actually being at the show, how you can have the ballz to slam Dave. Chancez are, you both (az most critics) are failed musicianz. So shut the f**k up if you have nothing good to say about the man who had thousandz of us smilin' and feelin' good. Az for the other pee-headed DJ, tell him to pull hiz head out of hiz ass so he can see the light. This makes me happy why l listen to KISW." (competition station)

Sometimez you gotta fight the good fight, and stand up for what you believe in. With that said, I know this Goose did!


Copyright © 2003 Zappnin Black. All Rights Reserved.